It is far too late to be sitting here writing...but, I am.

I had a great day spinning and watching the birds and squirrels duke it out at the bird feeder. Took a break, went to the bathroom to wash up and when I looked up from washing my hands, I saw my mother in the mirror looking back at me. No, I'm not talking about ghosts, it was me. I think I must not really look at myself as I put on my makeup because, while I know there is a strong family resemblance, I didn't know it was that strong and I didn't know I was getting that old.

It was a natural progression to go from that realization to pondering on the importance of spending the time I have left doing things that matter and that I love. Well, get that serious and a person can get downright depressed. So I did. Then I got a bit annoyed at myself for dropping into that little black hole and not being able to get readily out of it. I had to laugh. When I was working I dreamed of being free to do anything or nothing. I didn't actually have a plan because I knew one would surface when I was free. I am doing all the things I love and the days fly by very quickly. Far more quickly than when I was working. I occasionally wonder just where the past year went.

Okay, so I haven't thought this totally through yet but I do know that when I was in my twenties and thirties I woke up every day convinced that day would be magical and that the possibility of something amazing happening was real. And usually that is what happened. I didn't win the lottery or anything like that but I often was witness to something breathtaking. For example....

One day I was standing out in our yard in West Virginia watering the tomatoes and something bright and glittery caught my eye. When I brought my eyes into focus, I realized it was a hummingbird feeding her baby birds. The babies were in a nest that was just a whisp of fluff and fiber and not much bigger than my thumb. The nest was suspended in a clematis vine and would have been invisible if I hadn't been standing in just that location. I watched her until she flew off for more food and the babies slipped back down into their nest. I came back every day to check on her and her brood. They grew up very nicely and over a weekend when we were away, I guess mom taught them to fly because they and she were gone when we got back. I felt as if I had assisted in the launching of that little family.

That was a spectacular thing to be privileged to see and there have been so many others.

The challenge now will be to learn to relax and let life happen and be open to the magic that is all around us. There is no point in racing toward some imaginary finish line at this point in my life. Don't know what the prize would be but I doubt it would be worth the effort. But, I can watch from the sidelines as my daughter and grandchildren pursue their careers and hope they choose paths that allow them to have long, happy lives.

And, I will simply have to learn to like that lady in the mirror even if I don't recognize her as me anymore. That will take time but it is possible. And, I will not lose sight of the fact that I have had a very happy life full of adventures and good friends and breathtaking events.

With that said, "goodnight" to any and all passing through this blog and reading my ramblings.