The older I get the less I know, of that I am sure. When I was in my twenties the world was a fine, safe place to be. I attended college, traveled all over, sometimes alone, never expecting more than a great adventure and never disappointed. Oh, there was Russia and the potential of a big bad bomb being dropped on us. But, you know, I never expected that to happen. It looked like a lot bluff and bluster to me.

No, I expected my life to sail along predictably. I'd get married and have kids. We'd own our own home. Life would be good. And that was pretty much what happened.

Until President Kennedy was assassinated. That one event did change everything for me. I knew other presidents had been assassinated and other attempts to kill presidents had been planned and prevented. But Kennedy, whatever else he may have done in his life, created a positive, hopeful time during his presidency and he was hated enough that someone took a gun, rifle actually, and killed him.

Kennedy connected with my generation and offered a link between the stodgy old politicians and the young voters. I even listened to political speeches and followed what was going on in government because he made you feel as if your participation was needed.

And then he was gone.

The gun lobbyists would have to interject at this point that guns don't kill people, people kill people. That is true but guns do help people kill other people very quickly and easily. It happens all the time.

You don't have to be famous to be killed by a gun and a person holding said gun. How many times a week does that sad story come up in the news? We've lost Martin Luther King, Jr and Bobby Kennedy and so many others.

Lots of other good people have died because someone had a gun and an axe to grind. What might have been a nasty conversation ends in someone being killed. Disgruntled employees, unhappy spouses, angry, disenfranchised teens, someone who loves another they can't have....the list is endless. but, throw a gun into the equation and it usually ends very, very badly.

I once supervised a women who had huge issues with the world and the lack she felt of appropriate respect being sent in her direction. She could go from calm to uncontrollable in milliseconds and since I was her boss, I got to see that side of her many times.

One time in particular stands out because it was the day I could have been killed.

Said employee had verbally attacked some volunteers where I work and they complained to me. I caught up with her at the end of the day and told her we needed to speak privately. I could see her starting to get tense but thought I would keep this conversation safe and sane...just state the facts, explain the needed change and end the discussion. I did just that. She went totally ballistic, screaming, yelling, threatening. I told her to go home and relax and get herself together and not to come back until she did.

She came back the following morning. I was sitting in my office. It was early. Most of the employees on the floor where my office was located were not in yet. She came to my office and began ranting and raving about how she never got the respect she deserved from me....a lot of other things were thrown in but, well, trust me when I say that I was wishing there was another exit from my office because she was blocking the only door and she was much stronger than I was and she was scary. She continued to emote and got louder and more aggressive for almost 10 minutes. I tried to stop her but her response to me was to sit down and shut up because she wasn't nearly finished with me. Amazingly she never slowed down. Toward the end of her rants she did mention that she was going to get even with me and hurt me in some way.

And then, thank God, someone came to my office and the phone rang and she just left. I truly believe that had she had a gun, I would not be writing this now. She did, in fact, tell several other people that she was going to get me good.

Did she get fired or disciplined in any way? No, she didn't. I worked for a fellow who was about to lose his job so instead of doing anything about the situation, he called her in, apologized for the problems she was having and put a letter of commendation in her personnel folder.

It was government work, that job I had, and we all know how inept government can be so, aside from a report I filed with the county stating that I was in fear of bodily harm from this employee, nothing was done, ever.

She is still out there working somewhere. Another time bomb ready to go off. Pray she never gets a gun because that is one person who would definitely use it.

I mention all of this not because I have an answer, though, outlawing guns does appeal to me. No, I don't have an answer for all the hate and killing that happens all over the globe everyday of every week with no sign of stopping any time soon.

But last Monday on the Virginia Tech campus a very disturbed man with an axe to grind and a couple of guns to back him up killed 31 people and himself. I doubt we will learn anything from his videotaped ramblings except that he was mentally ill.

We already know that people with guns often kill other people. If we want to make the world a safer place, we need to grasp that concept and make some serious changes.

The picture at the top of the page is the graveyard in Virginia City. Now carrying guns in that town at the time this cemetery was in use might make sense even to me.